Beyond "Man Up": Unmasking Depression and Anxiety in Men
For generations, men have been told, explicitly and implicitly, to “man up.” This cultural directive, while intended to foster strength and resilience, has inadvertently created a silent crisis in men’s mental health. When depression and anxiety arrive, they often don’t look like the textbook sadness or worry we’ve been taught to expect. Instead, they frequently masquerade as irritability, anger, aggression, or even reckless behaviour, leaving men, and those who care about them, struggling to recognise the underlying pain.
In 2026, it’s time to retire the “man up” mentality and equip ourselves with a more nuanced understanding of how these common mental health challenges manifest in men. Recognising these less obvious signs is the first, crucial step toward effective management and healing.
The Invisible Disguise: How Depression and Anxiety Really Appear
1. The Short Fuse (Irritability & Anger): Forget tearfulness. For many men, depression or anxiety might first show up as a persistent short fuse. Small frustrations at work or home become explosive arguments. There’s a constant feeling of being on edge, easily annoyed by things that wouldn’t normally bother them. This isn’t just a “bad mood”; it’s a symptom of an overwhelmed emotional system struggling to cope.
2. Reckless & Risky Behaviour: A drive for adrenaline or an increased tolerance for risk can sometimes be a cry for help. This might manifest as excessive drinking, gambling, impulsive financial decisions, dangerous driving, or engaging in extramarital affairs. These behaviours can be an attempt to self-medicate, numb emotional pain, or simply "feel something" when core emotions are dulled by depression.
3. Physical Complaints & Exhaustion: Mental distress often manifests physically. Persistent headaches, back pain, digestive issues, or chronic fatigue that doctors can’t fully explain could be indicators. Men might complain more about being “burnt out” or “run down” than about feeling sad. This somatic expression of mental health struggles is incredibly common but frequently overlooked.
4. Social Withdrawal & Isolation: While some withdrawal is a classic symptom, for men, it can look different. Instead of outright isolation, it might be a gradual disengagement from hobbies they once loved, avoiding social gatherings, or becoming distant even when physically present. They might spend more time alone, not necessarily because they want to, but because they lack the energy or motivation to engage.
6. Substance Use (Self-Medication): Alcohol and drugs can offer a temporary escape from emotional discomfort. An increase in drinking, reliance on cannabis, or misuse of prescription medication to “take the edge off” or “help sleep” should be a red flag, as it often points to an underlying attempt to manage untreated anxiety or depression.
Beyond Recognition: Practical Strategies for Management
Recognising these signs in yourself or a loved one is powerful, but it’s only the beginning.
1. Open the Conversation (Carefully): Avoid accusatory language. Instead of “Why are you so angry all the time?”, try “I’ve noticed you seem really stressed lately, and I care about you. Is everything okay?” Frame it around observation and concern, not judgment.
2. Prioritise Physical Health (The Foundation): Even when mental health is struggling, consistent sleep, a balanced diet, and regular exercise (even short walks) can create a buffer. These aren’t cures, but they are crucial stabilisers that can improve resilience.
3. Seek Professional Help (Without Shame): This is the most critical step. Therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) or psychodynamic therapy, can provide men with tools to understand and reframe their thoughts and emotions. Medication, when appropriate and prescribed by a doctor, can also be a vital part of recovery. Emphasise that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
4. Reconnect with Purpose & Community: Encourage engagement in activities that provide meaning, whether it’s a hobby, volunteering, or simply spending quality time with friends and family. Social connection is a powerful antidote to isolation and a fundamental human need often neglected during mental health struggles.
5. Develop Emotional Literacy: Learning to identify and articulate emotions beyond just “good” or “bad” is essential. Resources like emotional wheels or guided journaling can help men build a richer vocabulary for their inner experience, making it easier to process feelings rather than suppressing them.
By looking beyond the traditional facade of “man up,” we can foster an environment where men feel empowered to acknowledge their struggles. In 2026, let’s champion a culture of genuine strength one that embraces vulnerability, encourages seeking support, and ultimately allows men to live fuller, healthier lives.
